Warning: She bites

  • me: [clicks on customize]
  • me: [opens 18 tabs]
  • me: [puts on hard-hat]
  • me: time to change my theme.



donniedarkwad:

THIS IS HONESTLY ONE OF MY MOST FAVOURITE PHOTOS I LOVE RAIN SO MUCH AND STORMS AND WOW YES PLEASE

donniedarkwad:

THIS IS HONESTLY ONE OF MY MOST FAVOURITE PHOTOS I LOVE RAIN SO MUCH AND STORMS AND WOW YES PLEASE


officalsquidward:

totally-not-superboy:

smallpox:

instead of taking birth control you can have sex at night bc the sperm are asleep + you won’t get pregnant

Are you a U.S. senator?

If you have sex with the lights off, the sperm won’t know where to go! And you won’t get pregnant



thatsabingo:

So I follow my aunties on pintrest for like sharing recipes and stuff but today one of them posted this gif:

image

and they’re all commenting like “the perfect man” and “what all women want ;)” and stuff like that

And I’m over here laughing my ass off because that’s gay porn star, Austin Wolf. This gif is from a gay porno. Like, literally 5 seconds after this moment, he has a cock in his mouth.


blah-blahs:

This guy wants to be mad but can’t


thatsabingo:

So I follow my aunties on pintrest for like sharing recipes and stuff but today one of them posted this gif:

image

and they’re all commenting like “the perfect man” and “what all women want ;)” and stuff like that

And I’m over here laughing my ass off because that’s gay porn star, Austin Wolf. This gif is from a gay porno. Like, literally 5 seconds after this moment, he has a cock in his mouth.


ultralorcl:

sext: r u nakey


rupsidaisy:

pizzaforpresident:

firemen:

my follower count is my birth year

did you know jesus personally?

slam DUNKED


daveyoufool:

So I saw this cute girl going down the street with an amazing ass. I was all “DAMN GIRL, YOU GOT AN AMAZING ASS.” She was like “thanks, there’s a sale across the block, I got him there.” Now I have a pet donkey too, he was five bucks and his name is Leopold. And he hates thunderstorms.


confirmance:

do you ever like randomly wake up in the middle of the night check your social networks then go back to sleep 


clubsnuggie:

tips on talking to me when I’m pissed off

  • don’t

floozys:

vagina’s are able to stretch wide enough to give birth to a fucking baby and then return to it’s original size but of course being penetrated by that grass blade you call a penis is what’s going to make it “loose”